I grew up in a west-indian house hold and amongst people who spoke to my weight instead of me – I grew up thinking that people saw my size before anything else and became not just paranoid about it but doubts about my appearance and intelligence thereof would be a part of my every day existence.
I don’t often find myself quoting lil kim but “no matter what people sayin’ we got it going on” And I truly believe that now. It took an adult me to change my mind though. I positively affirm myself on a daily basis and ensure that I take the best care of my appearance because I like to look and feel good.
So even when like yesterday an obnoxious member of the opposite sex shouted “BOOTAY” at me in front of my waifly colleagues – I didn’t even have a flicker of shame nor anger - I ignored it like the ignorant fool he showed himself to be.
To me – it ceases to matter – I’ve had women come up to me tell me I’m a stunner and then ask whether I’d “considered losing the weight because I’m so beautiful”. I found myself offering an excuse but I wish I had the gall back then to tell her – what I thought of her.
Now I’ve gotten past absorbing the comments that people say out of jealousy (people you thought were friends) or shame (from men you’ve just rejected). I only tend to remember the people over the years that compliment me on my personality as well as my looks and figure with no negative follow up comment – because they are genuinely happy with themselves and don’t have the need to bring others down. Take the time to give those people the admiration they deserve they’ve come a long way!