Wednesday, August 3, 2011

You Are Appreciated

This morning I was getting dressed for work. I had gotten the kids dressed all except their shoes. I was in my bed room mirror putting the finishing touches on my makeup. I asked my daughter who is 6, to put on her shoes, and then help her brother who is 2, put on his shoes so we could leave when I was done. For the most part my daughter is a big help, she is very independent. For some reason this particular morning she felt the need to voice her disapproval over my not saying thank you for helping her brother. I had my back turned to her, but I could see her in the mirror on my bed. Her words to me were, "I'm going out of my way to help Shane put his shoes on and I can't even get a thank you, for helping." OK so I know what some of the old school moms like myself are thinking, this is a foot to ass moment, I know! I had to calm myself down too. It wasn't what she said, it was the way she said it with an attitude, like I owed her a thank you. Now I am still a fairly young mom, but I'm also very much an old soul. This is where I had to step outside of myself for a minute and look at the situation from every side. First off I know my child. She has always been around older women since she was little. She didn't go to daycare until she was 4. She was around my mother, my sister, her fathers mom and sister and me. We are all very independent strong willed opinionated women, so she gets it honest. Between the ages of 2-5 when kids are developing who they are and core traits of their personality, she didn't have the balance of children and adults in her life. She was the baby in a world full of adults. So a lot of her mannerisms and thought patterns are very mature. I understand this about my child. In a sense she was right, the proper thing to do was to say thank you. As a single mom with a lot on my plate, she can be a big help when it comes to doing simple things for her brother; like putting his shoes on, grabbing his coat, fixing him a sandwich, and I do appreciate her help more than she knows.

Now with that being said, who the hell did she think she was talking too?! As I said, I understand my child; however that doesn't give her an excuse to talk to me like she would talk to one of her friends in school. So when she made her comment; I instantly got fired up, cause I don't take disrespect from kids lightly, yours or mine. So I said to her. "Who are you talking too? I will drop kick you through the wall, have you lost your mind! (don't judge me) Did you say thank you when I paid the rent this month so you could have a place to lay your head? NO! Did I get a thank you when you got new Jordan's and clothes for school? NO- because as your mother I'm obligated to do that whether I get a thank you or not!" Then I quickly calmed down because I saw the opportunity to teach her something about life as a woman. I began to explain to her that, first, when someone asks you to do something and you agree to do it, don't do it for the thank yous. They may not always come. That's not to say your not appreciated, it's just the way things are. Secondly as a woman, and one day as a mother, you will have to go above and beyond what your supposed to do for people and yes sometimes it will go unappreciated but your still going to have to do it. You will have to get up at 2 am when your child is sick and throwing up all over your carpet; clean them up, give them medicine, clean your carpet the best you can, then try and get some sleep before you have to get up for work in three hours. You then get to go to a job with more sick people who are in pain, frustrated, and looking to you to change their situation. You will be expected to do all this and more with grace and a smile, and some how you will find the strength to do it because that's what a strong woman does. (Feel free to enter applause here. LOL I felt like I was in a scene from a Tyler Perry movie)

So I decided to take this opportunity to say thank you to all the strong beautiful women. To the single mother who goes to work, and goes to school because no matter what she refuses to let her children see her fail. She knows that they deserve a chance to have more, and be more and she will work as many jobs as she has to work, in order to make sure they have what they need. She misses PTA meetings to work extra hours so her lights will stay on. To the home makers who raise their children, to the best of their ability, and support their husband as he works hard to provide for his family in a failing economy where people are losing their jobs and homes everyday. To the working wife who cant afford to stay home because her home wont survive on one income. She finds a balance even under the most hectic circumstances. I especially want to say thank you to the women who have been hurt, scorned, mis treated, taken advantage of, lied to and cheated on. They are the women who were molested as a young girl, but still found the strength to love and trust again. They are the big girls who get left in the friend category or get cheated on because someone didn't appreciate them or took their kindness as a weakness. Yet they don't turn that bitterness on the next man because they know their worth as a woman. Most times we and all the women I mentioned above are one in the same. They are our sisters, mothers, daughters, best friends and co workers, they come in all sizes, shapes and colors. They are not perfect, they make mistakes, but it's also their love and nurturing spirits that find you when you are at your lowest. They pray for you, pray with you, and they are the glue that holds families together. Cassidy, mommy loves you (I'll knock you into next week if you talk to me like that again!) but I love you and I appreciate you so much, thank you.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you, because that post sure felt like a thank you to me. :-) Much needed


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...