Full Figured News came across a blog post from the lovely Amber Whitted who is an author, model and artist. We just had to repost it! Please be sure to support her by subscribing to her blog http://eshewords.weebly.com.
Thank you for this post Amber, we are not in any way bashing these ladies but it's important that we as women are careful. Please read everyone:
This blog is for the ladies, but fellas can read as well. *wink*
A good friend of mine Nikeya (plus model and blogger) told me about a site where there were pictures taken of full-figured models. They are on the web - untouched - showing otherwise lovely women in a not-so-classy light ( for those who are interested, here's the link: http://www.viceland.com/int/v18n7/htdocs/tons-of-fun.php?page=1 ) As I took a look at the pictures, emotions from anger to hurt spanned through me. And as I searched for a final emotion to conclude with this one came to me: Have women, especially women of color, really sold ourselves?
In today's media, beauty is defined by how long a woman's hair is, how big her "assets" are, what is her racial combination, or how far is she willing to go to be seen. The "video ho" era has taken over the minds of our youth, allowing them to aspire to be like women who are seen as nothing more than sex symbols. Young girls grow up to be adult women with self-esteem issues, willing to share a man rather than have no man at all and accepting far less than what she is worth. And as for the full-figured woman, she goes above and beyond to be noticed and loved by the wrong type of man.
And as much as I would love to blame this on men and the media, we have to to take the responsibility for this one, ladies.
Before you start screaming and hollering and calling me a traitor (LOL!), let me explain. Media can only portray us the way we allow ourselves to be portrayed. Men will only treat us the way we allow ourselves to be treated. We wear tacky clothes, behave in a classless manner, get drunk and high, sleep with multiple men, and curse like sailors. And yet we wonder why there aren't any good men. It's not that there aren't any good men - they do exist. We are too busy chasing around the negative ones instead of waiting to be found by a positive one. We get no respect because we do not walk worthy of it.
Don't get me wrong. I strongly believe that the way the media portrays women is wrong on SO many levels (and I'm pretty sure I'll be discussing that at a later time ;-) ). Strong, intelligent, and classy women are seen as dinosaurs - foolish for our beliefs and not up with the times. Heaven forbid we use the word "No" for anything from taking cheap entertainment jobs to talking to men. But what is wrong with the word "No"? When did we become so desperate for attention that we'd do anything to get approval? Your validation should come from what God says about you. Every day you look in the mirror, you should see a creature that even in her flaws beauty exists. Don't worry if you don't see her right away - she is there just waiting for her cue to enter. Look at yourself every morning and say, "I am a jewel of immeasurable worth, designed to love and be loved in a way worthy of all that I am." Keep saying that to yourself and one day you will wake up to see how true that statement is.
But in the meantime in between time - ladies, we MUST do better. Stop complaining that men don't respect you when you have all of your "goodies" out. Stop talking about not being able to get respect on the job if you show up with a hangover. Stop wondering why your child's father won't take care of his kid if you won't give him access to see him. Stop letting men off the hook. A man should treat you not just good but better than he treats himself, and if he spends more money on porn and strip clubs than he does on you, that is a problem. Finally, please please PLEASE stop posting half-naked pictures of yourself on the internet. Anyone at any given time can see those pictures, and once they do you are labeled. And if they get in the hands of or sold to the wrong person - now they are making money off of your degradation. You deserve better!
Each woman is a one-of-a-kind, unique creation - custom made to fit exact specifications for a special purpose. Once you realize this, your opportunities are endless. It's time to start wearing our crowns ladies. You were born with one, so rock it!
Peace and Blessings!